No one can force you to forgive someone for what they may have done to you but consider this…..who is paying the penalty?
I realized after the death of my father that I was holding on to over 30 years of deep seated emotions that I continued to relive whenever I got the chance. I knew that I did not want to walk around feeling like I was feeling so I sought my pastor who gave me a unique exercise to help me learn to forgive. When you forgive, it is for your benefit, to release yourself from the bonds of a situation, remark, or perceived action. The key is to be able to look at the situation and realize that both parties played a role, right or wrong. I wrote a letter to each individual that I felt I needed to forgive and in that letter I recalled the good and the bad times and especially what I felt the wrong to be. In this letter I also forgave myself. That released the dam of emotions that were held back so long. I had to forgive me in order to move on. These individuals never saw these letters or words but I knew I had done the ultimate act and that was to release myself from the prison of VICTIM and into the freedom of VICTORY.
I continued on the forgiveness journey daily because it is a journey and does not happen overnight. Reading Let it Go by Bishop TD Jakes and learning to not beat myself up over small matters and releasing the situation before I could begin to hold onto it offered a fresh light on why forgiveness allows you to be the person God meant you to be.