Why Domestic Violence is Taboo

October is Domestic Violence Awareness month. How many of us can honestly say we knew that without having to be reminded?  Not many.  The reason is because this is not a subject that is widely spread or championed by anyone in any community.  

A typical conversation about domestic violence has the victim asking who can I tell this to and not feel threatened and has the listening party who knows nothing about the victims situation asking what did you do to piss him/her off?   Just the words cause people to shy away, look the other way and silently think what did you do to cause that?  No one, man or woman, young or old, married or not deserves any kind of physical punishment on any level, especially if that person uses the words I Love You. 

In this country alone domestic violence happens every 9 seconds to 1 in 3 women on a daily basis and 1 in 4 men.  1 in 5 women experience severe violence at the hands of their spouse or intimate partner.  1 in 5 children are exposed to domestic violence and 90% have witnessed a violent outcome at the hands of a parent or loved one. Approximately 20,000 or more calls are placed daily to 911 for domestic situations across the United States and law enforcement responds with at least 2 officers on every call.  Law enforcement has seen the effects of these type of situations when an officer goes in alone without back up and loses the battle with and already unstable subject.  Male domestic violence is usually verbal, mental or emotional. Victims in domestic violence situations tend to be separated from friends and family before any real violence takes place.  

Did you know that 

  • 72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female. 

As a domestic violence survivor, I could not stand by and watch other organizations continue to get recognition, interviews, spotlights, funding, etc and act like this is not a national problem.  I have experienced the emotional, mental and verbal abuse, stalking and attempted rape at the hands of the perpetrator.  I have been separated from family and friends, called names, told no one would want me and more.  I almost had my jaw broken, eye socket destroyed, lip busted, finger cut off and drug overdose because of it.  I survived, many have not.

Support is truly needed in this fight against this epedemic.  At least 8.3 billion is spent each year on health care and legal fees alone nationwide.  Resources needed are:

  • counseling
  • daycare
  • educational resources
  • clothing
  • housing
  • medical
  • legal
  • food and sundries

The list continues to grow……………….This has to stop…NOW!

I am only one person but you can make a difference by learning what the signs are and what to do.  If you know someone in this type of situation, don’t turn away and don’t put yourself in a dangerous situation.  Alert the authorities tell someone and reach out to local agencies to let them know what is happening.  Never blame a victim of domestic violence or tell them if they had only done things differently.  There is no excuse for this type of violence.  Contact your local shelter and find out about classes and where they are.  If you are in or have been in some type of violent situation, take some self defense classes, it pays to be safe. Learn how to protect yourself and those you love.  

Statistics from ncadv.org

You can help in your area or donate at 50 shades of Blue a fundraiser for local agencies The House of Ruth and the MD NADV in the Baltimore area.  Wear purple to show your support.



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